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I got furiously angry
the other day because someone at work asked another
person about a situation I had already told them about -
and then contradicted my plan around handling the
paperwork. Did they ask the other because he was a man
and I'm a woman? I got so very angry, lost it. A friend
said, this job is killing you, killing that positive
person who sees what others are capable of. But when I
feel responsible for a high standard, but powerless over
our capacity to delivery, I get worn down and insecure. I
feel so lost. |
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I see how I inherited
gifts from my grandfather, who was so vibrant... and
prickly. He used to yell out, "Just call me
lucky!" |
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I feel blessed to know
my Grandmother, seeing her live her values. But now I see
how she has such trouble receiving gifts, she seems so
angry to have to recieve. |
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The gift I desire is
the full range of feeling in my body, like sadness. I
mean not holding it off, and not attaching to it,
lingering with it, but letting it come in, then letting
it go. |
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I have a hard time
hearing compliments, like when my mother sounds so
"gushy" when she speaks. But now I'm beginning
to see what she means when she says I have the gift of
putting others at ease. |
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I don't feel that what
I give is a gift, it's just who I am. And I worry that
others will think, "who does she think she is?"
when I'm proud of what I give. |
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People told me that
during my accident it was a gift to see my sense of
humor. And I learned so much about receiving - the
generosity was incredible. People came to spend time
during the day, sent e-mails, sent flowers. I was
overwhelmed by it, and I fear I cannot give that in
return... |
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Stories
& Insights
