Stories & Insights on Sustainability and Authority

	We're headed for a train wreck. And I don't see myself getting off the train, raising the alarm, or giving up my life to go stand on the tracks so it'll stop. Instead, I see myself going to the tourist car and telling stories so others will look out the windows. That's where I see myself. But sometimes I feel like I'm going to be asked to give up my job, others things, and get off the train. But of course, we can't. Because the train is earth.

	So what do we mean by getting off the train? Giving up our jobs, going to work full-time for environmental issues? --I think we have a lot of fears around this. And we don't necessarily see all the possibilities open to us. --Well, economic sustainability is a function of the political world, which is not easily changed. --But there's also an internal level of change. For example, believing that sustainability requires me to give up my job, is not actually not sustainable for me as an individual. What we're longing for is the grounded and inspired life, both. Grounded in this world, but inspired by higher commitments. --Authority seems to be related to our ideas about sustainability, about what it would mean to get off the train, because authority (or our beliefs about it) form some of the contraints against acting.

	When my brother and sister-in-law were talking about this kind of thing the other day, one of them said, "There are huge numbers of people specifically trained to think about this stuff - because it's complicated! So how do we expect to have anything to contribute?" I think many of us feel that we are unqualified on these subjects, and so hand them off.

	We didn't have a TV when my kids were growing up, so our kids wouldn't be sucked into the consumer culture. I thought the kids would be bitter about it - but instead they were proud. Also, I used to burn my paper trash, as kind of a rebellious statement. But somehow my neighbor got to me and convinced me to let her haul it in instead of burning it. That stopped after a while, but now I haul it in myself.

	What I'm interested in is how we invest values, like recycling, in kids. I'm not sure, but I suspect they don't get much input on practical issues. Like democracy, I wonder if they learn how that works, really. Yet democracy needs informed voters. I guess I believe in the truth shall set you free, full disclosure, full information on everything, so we can make the best choices. And I get sad when I see graffiti, because that seems to be a symptom of kids that aren't being taught to be part of a culture of values.

	My father used to take us out and show us the foam from detergent in rivers, so we could see the consequences of our society's practices. But until we can change the big picture, the extreme focus on consumerism, commercialism, I don't think we'll resolve the environmental issues. And those things are at the foundation of our society, so I don't know what we do about it. And now they're copying us in China; and if everyone in China buys a refrigerator to store their Coke, we're doomed. Why don't we go back to times when things lasted - my parents' first washer/dryer lasted 30 years...

	I've always felt able to ignore authority - I just didn't take it that seriously. My family was libertarian, extremely focused on individualism. I really questioned any relationship with outside authority, like going to church - what's this about? I asked. Why are we getting dressed up? Why are we subscribing to this outside authority? So I thought I was free from that constraint. And yet lately I've discovered that I HAVE subscribed to outside authority: the authority of high expectations, the need to perform, and the need to conform in some way. For example, I did what I wanted at Arthur Andersen - had the clients I wanted, did the projects I wanted... but it was still Arthur Andersen.

	I watched a special recently on where garbage goes and I found it fascinating. So many Americans have no clue on the whole cycle. And I think it's our disconnection with other living things and non-living things, such as a stone, that still have life essence or soul - that allows us to think we can just take advantage of natural resources. From my family background, I've learned that disease is really dis-ease - and that we need certain spiritual actions to heal it. So now, I am committed to taking the time I need, giving myself space and quiet, getting myself out in nature... in order that I have something to give.

	I remember collecting aluminum cans when I was 7 - it took months to scour the whole neighborhood. And I felt really proud, until I realized that that one act hadn't solved the problem. So I sometimes feel discouraged by how much effort is required to change our course. Also, I have an image from the WTO of a protester talking with a delegate - and how completely differently they saw the world. The delegate had spent 28 years studying trade and the need for free markets, and the protester was convinced that globalization led to concentrations of wealth and power in developing countries that hurt the country overall. In my mind, somehow, I feel the need to bridge those two in order for us to create something that works. And I don't see how to do it. I get even more discouraged when my more conservative friends acknowledge that they know a train wreck is coming, but still don't find the energy to go deeper. That discouragement makes me resist experiencing the feelings as I tell you this story.

	My parents both grew up in China, where you just don't waste. So I always ask myself what do I really need? And it's always a lot less than we think. People that grew up in the Depression had more of a sense of that, a sense of a higher power as the authority. But there was a shift with the baby boomers to challenge and throw out any authority. And now the Gen X'ers say "what authority?" It's like there is no leadership. But I find that some young people have narrow views just because they haven't been exposed to things. So I try in the classroom to stretch their thinking - like, what if we had no money, how could our society work?

	Well, I don't think you all would consider me a good environmentalist: I have a motor home and 7 cars - although I only drive one at a time. I just love old cars. But I remember in my early days with Chevron, I worked on how reformulated gasoline would be implemented. I talked to the Sierra Club, others, to find alternatives to MTBE. Chevron heavily resisted it, advised the regulators against it, but they insisted. And now we know, it's in the groundwater and they're going to a new substance that's not really much better. I found that we could convene the Sierra Club with our scientists and it worked (although they wouldn't let us buy the pizza) - but we couldn't get it any higher because "They" wouldn't let it. I have to ask myself, what authority was involved there? Later, I worked with the Lawrence Hall of Science on a educational program for kids called CHEM. It was extremely strong in advocating environmentally sound perspectives - but we couldn't get the Sierra Club to endorse it because it would look like capitulating, and Chevron couldn't put their name on it because higher-ups feared it would be seen as self-serving. So I got discouraged, and I now focus on getting individuals on the train to look out the window. But now my dream is to get all the systems thinkers in the world to go to the end of the train and turn that big wheel. You know, the one that stops it.